Tea and sympathy

OK, it was coffee, but tea sounds so much nicer in the headline, no?

Yesterday I met two total strangers for breakfast. They had organized a gathering for young widows the week before, but I had to miss it because my sitter canceled (and truly, I didn't go out of my way to find a replacement because I was ambivalent about the whole idea). They kindly reached out after I was a no-show and asked me to meet them. I was nervous, people are so different. It could have been incredibly awkward.

It wasn't, not at all. Rarely have I fallen so quickly into sync with new people, immediately sharing things I haven't even told my best friends and family. Common experience is such a powerful bond. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I guess I still hold some stereotypes about widows. Fragile creatures they are, just waiting patiently to join their dearly departed husbands. But I saw so much of myself in these women. They were both widowed a bit ahead of me, so I listened with interest as they talked about moving forward with their kids, with living life on their own terms, even with finding new love. Their stories and feedback inspired me.

With exactly four weeks to go until the one-year anniversary of S's death, I am all about forgiveness and gratitude. I need to finish forgiving him for leaving us so that I can keep his memory alive for the girls without feeling conflicted about it. And I want to be sure to live in gratitude for all of the amazing people who have helped us through this year.

Today I am thankful for Fern and Gayle, who helped me make a month's worth of progress in one hour yesterday morning.