Halfway back to Smartville

I left my cell phone at home yesterday for the second time in three weeks. I’m not a power user, so it doesn’t bother me too much to be without it for a day. What does bother me is the fact that I forgot it again. Add that to things like leaving the dog outside all night, forgetting entire conversations and developing a blank stare that shows up on my face far too often, and it all adds up to a disturbing pattern: I am not as smart as I used to be.

Since memory problems and trouble concentrating are common symptoms of post-traumatic stress, I can cut myself some slack. In online grief circles, it’s known as “widow brain.” My fellow widows/widowers recommend keeping lists. I currently have about a dozen lists going, all of which are messy, useless conglomerations of personal and professional tasks.
My amazingly intuitive acupuncturist assured me I’ll be smart again in six months, and that was about three months ago. In the meantime, here’s what I’m doing:

• Designating more tasks as optional, and eliminating optional tasks. There was somehow plenty of food at the second grade holiday breakfast without a contribution from me.
• Getting organized. The mornings go so much more smoothly when I pick out my clothes the night before.
• Getting up earlier. Having half an hour by myself in the morning seems to help me focus for the day.
• Sleeping. Thanks to the acupuncturist lauded above, the insomnia that plagued me early in this journey has been completely cured. Never underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep.
• Going to therapy. My wonderful therapist has helped me stay ahead of the intellectual and emotional tsunami.

I’ll add regular exercise to the list as soon as my new treadmill arrives next week.

I'm looking forward to March 25, 2010. In the meantime, I'll try to be patient.